Family Mediation Role-Play Exercise for Training

Shared Brief: A School Holiday Schedule

Two separated parents need to agree on a school holiday schedule for their child. Parent A wants a full week away with extended family. Parent B says the proposed dates overlap with time they had expected to spend with the child. Messages about the plans have become tense, and neither parent trusts that changes will be discussed early enough.

This fictional exercise practices acknowledgment, neutral summaries and option testing. It is not legal advice or a model parenting agreement. Use invented facts rather than participants' own family disputes.

Preparation and Roles

Assign one mediator, two parents and an observer. Give everyone the shared brief. Give each parent only their own confidential card; the mediator and observer should not read either card before the exercise. Allow five minutes to prepare, twenty minutes to mediate and ten minutes to debrief.

Parent A: Confidential Role Card

You see the holiday as a rare chance for the child to spend time with relatives who live far away. You suggested dates before confirming them, but Parent B interpreted your message as a completed decision. You worry that being flexible will mean losing the trip entirely. You could consider different travel dates or a shorter visit if the child still has meaningful time with the relatives. Explain the importance of the visit without accusing Parent B of blocking it.

Parent B: Confidential Role Card

You arranged time away from work because you expected to have the child during part of the holiday. You have not explained how difficult it would be to move those days. Your strongest concern is being treated as an afterthought. You could consider a split schedule or a different future holiday if there is a reliable way to discuss changes in advance. Describe what you need without assuming Parent A intended to exclude you.

Mediator Objective and Twenty-Minute Sequence

1. Minutes 0–3: explain the practice process, balanced speaking time and voluntary decision making. Ask what each parent wants the conversation to achieve.
2. Minutes 3–9: invite each account, acknowledge emotion and summarize each concern neutrally. Ask what the holiday needs to protect for the child and each parent.
3. Minutes 9–15: identify the issues together and invite at least two possible arrangements. Avoid choosing the schedule for the parties.
4. Minutes 15–20: test one option against dates, work commitments, travel and notice. Summarize agreement or remaining questions and ask both parents to confirm your understanding.

An agreement is not required to complete the exercise. An accurate, balanced summary of unresolved issues can be a useful outcome.

Observer Checklist and Debrief

• Did both parents have room to explain their concerns?
• Which response acknowledged emotion without taking a side?
• Did an open question uncover an interest beyond the preferred dates?
• Was a blame statement reframed without changing its meaning?
• Did the mediator test practical details and check both parties' understanding?

Ask the mediator to identify one choice to repeat and one to change. Invite each parent to describe a moment when they felt understood. The observer should give examples of mediator behavior rather than judge which parent deserved the holiday.

For different family training goals, see the family scenario patterns. For a general session structure, use the mediation exercise instructions.